Josette is a big girl already, she is thirty-three months old.One morning, as she does every morning, she directs her small, faltering steps to the door of her parents' room. She tries to push the door open, like a puppy. She loses her patience and shouts, which jolts her parents awake, but they pretend not to hear. On that day, mommy and daddy were very tired. The night before they had been to the theater, then after the theater to the restaurant, then after the restaurant to the cinema, then after the cinema to the restaurant, then after the restaurant to the puppet show. And now they are lying in. This is not a nice thing for parents to do… The housemaid is losing her patience too. She opens the door to the parents' bedroom and says:"Good morning, madam, good morning, sir. Here is your morning newspaper, here are the postcards you have received, here is your coffee with milk and sugar, here is your fruit juice, here are your croissants, here is your toast, here is your butter, here is your orange marmalade, here is your strawberry jam, here are your fried eggs, here is your bacon, and here is your little daughter too."The parents are fed up, for I forgot to tell you that after the puppet show they went to the restaurant once again. They don't want to drink their coffee and milk, they don't want any toast, they don't want any croissants, they don't want any bacon, they don't want the fried eggs, they don't want any orange marmalade, and they don't want any strawberry jam either (which wasn't in fact strawberry at all, but orange jam)."Give all that to Josette," the father said to the housemaid, "and when she finishes her meal, bring her back to us."The housemaid takes the little girl in her arms. Josette is yelling. But as she is a glutton, she consoles herself in the kitchen with mommy's marmalade, daddy's jam, her parents' croissants, and the fruit juices."My, what a piglet," said the housemaid. "Your belly's as big as your eyes."And to prevent the little girl from taking sick, the housemaid drinks the parents' coffee and milk, eats the fried eggs, bacon, and also the leftover rice milk from last night.In the meanwhile, mommy and daddy fell asleep again and now are snoring. Not for long. The housemaid takes Josette back to the parents' bedroom. Josette says:"Daddy, Jacqueline," (this is the housemaid's name) said Josette, "ate your bacon.""It's all right," said daddy."Daddy," said Josette, "tell me a story."And while mommy is fast asleep, because she is too tired, as she partied too much, daddy is telling Josette a story."There was once a little girl whose name was Jacqueline.""Like Jacqueline?" asked Josette."Yes," agreed daddy, "but she was not Jacqueline. Jacqueline was a little girl, she had a mom whose name was Mrs. Jacqueline. Jacqueline's dad had two sisters who were both named Jacqueline, and two cousins named Jacqueline, and an aunt and an uncle whose names were Jacqueline. The uncle and the aunt named Jacqueline had friends whose names were Jacqueline, Mr. and Mrs. Jacqueline, who had a daughter named Jacqueline and a son named Jacqueline, and the little girl had dolls, three dolls, whose names were: Jacqueline, Jacqueline and Jacqueline. The little boy had a classmate named Jacqueline and rocking horses named Jacqueline and tin soldiers named Jacqueline… One day, little Jacqueline, together with her daddy Jacqueline, her little brother Jacqueline, and her mommy Jacqueline went to the Bois de Boulogne. There they met their friends Jacqueline, the little girl Jacqueline, the little boy Jacqueline, the tin soldiers Jacqueline, the dolls Jacqueline, Jacqueline and Jacqueline."While daddy is telling little Josette the story, the housemaid enters. She says:"You'll drive this little girl mad, sir."Josette tells the housemaid:"Jacqueline, are we going to the market?" (for, as I said, the housemaid's name was Jacqueline.)Josette goes shopping with the housemaid. Daddy and mommy fell asleep again, because they were very tired, as the night before they had been to the restaurant, to the puppet show, and then again to the restaurant.Josette enters a store with the housemaid. There she meets a little girl who came with her parents. Josette asks the little girl:"Do you want to play with me? What is your name?"The little girl answers:"My name is Jacqueline."Josette replies to the little girl:"I know. Your daddy's name is Jacqueline, your mommy's name is Jacqueline, your little brother's name is Jacqueline, your granddad's name is Jacqueline, your rocking horse's name is Jacqueline, your house's name is Jacqueline, your chamber potty's name is Jacqueline…"Thereupon the grocer, the grocer's wife, the other little girl's mommy, all the customers in the store turn to Josette and stare at her with big, terribly apprehensive eyes."Nothing to be worried about," the housemaid pacifies them, "don't be afraid, these are just the idiotic tales her father tells her."
by Eugen Ionescu (1909-1994)
